arrive AFTER the movie has already started.
use your cell phone's flashlight to find your seats while carrying a ton of stuff so your light is shining all over the place
instead of choosing seats in the almost empty theater away from everyone so as to not disturb them with your flashlight, ton of stuff and two children...NOPE go for the row that is right next to everyone else who happened to get to the theater early to choose good seats!
bring your two children who didn't want to see the movie...you were just there to see the movie yourself.
bring tons of stuff to keep said children occupied so while they weren't bugging you at all because you've been ignoring them since birth, their noise was only annoying to the people you chose to sit next to.
make sure the stuff you brought to keep your kids occupied is extra noisy...like potato chips in a crinkly bag and nice crackly water bottles.
ignore the fact that your child keeps hopping up during the movie using the seat in front of him as a brace...and pulling the hair of the person who was sitting there.
also ignore the fact that your child is sick and spewing germs all over the people that you chose to sit near because well you're an idiot who thinks that staying home when sick is for the weak.
I would add, when in a near empty theater, be sure to sit in the row directly in front of the only other folks in the place. :)
ReplyDeletethankfully we were blessed that another couple had already "occupied" the end seats of the row directly in front of us, so she was blocked. They were nice enough to not sit directly in front of us, although she did get a call during the movie...grrr we had at least 15 requests to turn off our phones before the movie started. must have been for everyone else.
DeleteYou should've pulled a George... "Shut your traps and stop kickin' the seats!!!! Or we're gonna take it outside and I'm gonna SHOW YOU WHAT IT'S LIKE! And if you thinking I'm joking, just try me... try me, because I WOULD LOVE IT!"
ReplyDeleteBy the way, what did you see? Blame It On The Rain? Rochelle, Rochelle?