Sunday, April 08, 2007

Guilt trip mom

no, not me...well at least not today. hee hee

this time the culprit was my own dear mother.

See she called me yesterday to ask about Darly's birthday present and then starts to get whiney about our summer vacation plans.

you regular readers are well aware that we are going to see my neice get married so that Darly can be the flowergirl. (by the way: neice sent us a dress...I'll post pictures soon!) That's gonna take a huge chunk of money for the trip as they don't give away airline fares or hotel rooms. The flights were $329 each...the hotel rooms are $65, $79 & $67. Don't tell me how I could have gotten it's too late now.

She starts this junk about how she never gets to see her granddaughter. I should have said back to her that I know that my brother has offered to fly her out here and let her stay at his place...and I would do the same, but of course she would say that she can't afford to take off from work. According to her the place she works from won't allow her to take any vacation time...and she worries that if she tries they would just fire her and she can't get a job anywhere else because she's too old (60) and sick.

So instead of telling her off, I tell her that I'll talk to DH about it and see if we can manage anything...and DH says we might be able to go since Southwest has cheap fares all the time.

Then we were talking about my oldest brother and his wife and that turned into she doesn't understand why they hardly ever visit (they live about an hour appart) and they never call. Maybe I should tell her that they don't visit because the kids get bored at her house and they don't call because they don't wanna hear her whine about her life...more on this later! But they don't communicate with me either.

So she says that she knows that she wasn't the greatest mother, she made mistakes...but that all her kids turned out very well in spite of that. She's very proud that all of us have at least an Associate's Degree on our own. AND THEN she starts nagging me to finish my Bachelor's! I told her that right now I just don't have the time (I didn't say, that I don't have the will either) to finish it. I don't currently have any need of a degree. She says that I might want to get a job when Darly is out on her own. I'm doing lots of work now with no degree (of course no pay either...but that's okay by me.) And she wants me to finish my degree before she dies. :eyeroll: And then she starts talking about how sick she is and the medication that she's taking for the Osteoporosis causes Lymphomia and she might have that now. My brother warned me that she starts talking about her impending death when she talks to him... I'll have to compare notes.

In another part of the conversation which goes all over the place, it's amazing that I can even keep it somewhat straight she says to me that she wants me to tell her when she's done something wrong. Ummm yeah, any idea how hard it is to tell your mom anything, much less that she's screwed up?

Oh and we never wished each other a Happy Easter. LOL


  1. I had to giggle when reading this post. My husband and I could SO relate to your situation!! My MIL complains and whines about everything which is why we hate talking to her. And yes, I tried including her on my knitting outtings, but she would rather stay home and gripe about being lonely. SIGH...
    At least I can wish you guys a Hoppy Bunny Day to you!! We hope you received lots of goodies from the Big Bun.

  2. LOL!! My Mr's grandmother - according to here - was dying every Sunday - for 40 years! She was 95 when she died!

    Yes, they believe in the bunny. Well, at least they haven't said they don't. We hid the eggs late last night before bed. It took them about 10 min. to find all 12. They sure are getting faster!!

    Happy Easter, my friend!

  3. Well I've heard stories of parents putting on the old guilt trip before, but playing the "I'm dying" card is a bit much.

    Mine haven't been too bad about things like that. I'm fortunate they both live within a forty-five minute drive. Oh, and of course I don't have in-laws yet, either :)


    Happy Easter, Renee.

  4. I'm thinking that it must be really hard to be all alone, after raising children. Too bad that your mom behaves in such a way that no one feels inclined to go out of their way to speak with her or visit with her. If she could only be more pleasant, her family would want to be around her. It's sad. Sounds to me like you realize no matter what you do, your mom will find something to complain about. Good thing you don't live near her! Breathe in and out...and Happy Easter.

  5. Isn't family grand? I'm so sorry to hear that your mom is trying to play the guilt card while at the same time she's trying to tell you how to live your life. You are an adult successfully living your own life and you just need to repeat that to yourself whenever you have a conversation with her.
    And a Happy Easter to you and your family.

  6. My mom's a pro at the guilt trip, so I feel your pain.


    Sorry. :(

    Happy Easter! I can't wait to see Darly's dress!

  7. Ahh Moms - they can be so much fun! ;) I hope you had a good easter!!

  8. somebunny: Hoppy Bunny Day to you too...I know that even the little buns gave you something to smile about today...mine did! And sorry your MIL is like my mom.

    ladybug: well that gives me lots of hope. hee hee
    I guess my stupidity is that I don't even know how many eggs we hide here...easily like 100 (they're the plastic ones and we just keep adding to the collection.)

    bone: choose your inlaws carefully. I know that DH loves me very much be he could do without my family. One of the things that mom said about the wedding was "Oh yeah, his whole family goes don't they." For my wedding DH's entire family came from out of family lived there and couldn't bother to show up.

    Lynn: Ya know, I don't feel all that sorry for her even if she is ill because she's brought this upon herself. She's been miserable for years and won't do anything to help herself out. She has smoked since she was 16, she drank, she's been depressed to the point of considering suicide, and she's been aneroxic for years too. I love her dearly but I'm tired of hearing her shoot down every good idea I've (or anyone else for that matter has) tried to give her.

    Joan: You're absolutely right. She does still try to tell me how to live my life. I don't want to hurt her, but I sometimes wish I could tell her to lay off because I'm happy.

    TC: Thanks for commensurating with me. And Happy Easter to you too.

    Goofy Girl: Yeah, fun. I hope your Easter was happy and blessed too.

  9. Get her to take the no complaining pledge! Tell her you want to see her do it before she dies.