Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Too polite for today's society?

My child seems more and more frustrated with society at large.

I don't think that I've ever really taught Darly that she should raise her hand and wait to be called on for an answer. And I know that I didn't have to teach her to share her toys. Yet she seems to insist on doing just that and wants the rest of the world to follow those same rules.

When she was very little and a child would want to play with something that she was playing with, she would just let them take it. She didn't get upset. She just sat there for a moment (in shock one could suppose) and would then turn her attention to something else. I wanted for her to yell, shreek or whop the kid (btw: I hated this other child.) but she never did.

As she grew older when we would be with other kids and there would be situations where the kids were asked questions. If Darly knew the answer she would raise her hand and wait to be called upon to answer. But she would become very frustrated because other kids would just shout out the answers, "her answers." At one place Darly was in tears because the lady asking the questions had told everyone that she wanted the kids to do just what Darly was doing...wait to be called upon. Yet the lady never corrected the shouters. Darly said "she's never going to call on me because everyone else keeps shouting out the answers!"

So it seems that Darly's solution for this is to just not bother to answer anything. Then I get frustrated with her because I know that she knows the answers, but she stays quiet.

And in other news: It seems that I'm getting more spam in my yahoo inbox since signing up for yahoo messenger. Did yahoo sell my addy?


  1. Not to sound completely... well, snotty about it, but... aren't we all kind of fed up with society at large? lol Maybe it's just me :) Tell Darly she can come up and play with me: I'm a fan of manners myself.

    (And though I'd never condone it *cough, cough*, I secretely cheer when the nasty kids get a whollop.)

  2. when I taught nursery school, I would insist that everyone raise their hand to answer, or even ask, a question during group learning time. My 4 year old class was extremely well behaved, everyone got their chance to ask a question or answer a question and there were never any arguments. As a former teacher, I just cannot fathom how a teacher could let their class get out of control to where everyone is shouting out answers. - Meezer Mom Mary

  3. I think you've taught her things without saying so directly but by your actions/comments.

    Sounds like she needs more confidence in herself though, maybe try to help redirect her frustration into some confidence to answer questions!

  4. The people in charge have got to be told before they start that if they have rules, they need to enforce them.

    If they keep letting kids shout out, I think I might step forward, speak to the adult about it, and see what happens.

    I certainly don't blame her. I was the same way. Why bother to answer if they are getting credit and aren't following the rules.

  5. Poor Darly. I feel her pain. The world is a rude, rude place. Life's not fair - ever. My parents made sure I was taught fairness, and after college, there was a RUDE awakening. I wish I had an answer for you guys.

  6. She seems to be kind and well-mannered...the rest of the world isn't...

  7. well, on the one (positive) hand, i can say she probably learned from her family's good example to be polite and considerate of others. of course the negative hand is that other kids aren't as respectful as she tries to be which as you've said leads to frustration. poor kid. :(